The business of self inquiry

The definition of ‘business’ is, “a person's regular occupation, profession, or trade.”

And what is to be made from this self-inquiry occupation?

Well, the economics of emotions are stark in contrast to that of monetary economics.

The more happiness you give, the more you have. The more fear you shed on the world, the more fearful the world will appear.

Omitting our psychological state, we become surrounded by our emotional by-products. Without a diligent awareness of our inner workings, we can find ourselves imprisoned in our own mind, physically stationary in the safety of our own walls, sedentary and sedated in a climate-controlled dwelling, so as to not be triggered.

And why be triggered? Why be uncomfortable? Why do what I don’t know how to do?

Great questions...

I personally love the ‘Way finders’ lectures, offered by the anthropologist Wade Davis, who asks, “why did those early hominid ancestors of ours ever leave the comfy grasslands of Africa, sail on rafts across the pacific away from tropical coconut-filled islands, or initially even try to inhabit the arctic region.

Perhaps it was a necessity, dissatisfaction, curiosity, or a message from an animistic fear-mongering demi-god who informed the local shaman that it was time for the tribe to shift location before the next cataclysm.

Regardless of the reason, they did it. We did it as humans, moving to inhospitable places and adapting to the surroundings. And although I wasn’t there, I can certainly say that there would have been emotions involved and not just some hap-hazard stone age chaos, moving without rhyme or reason.

Imagine coming to the realisation that every action you take directly influences the rest of your life. That the actions are all fuelled by emotions. That emotion is birthed from perspectives…

…And now realise that you don’t have to imagine this.

I remember walking down a road one evening in Belgium in 2008, without a destination, just roaming. I came to an intersection, where a gentleman was coming from an adjacent direction.

He said, “Where are you going?”,

To which I replied, “I don’t know..” He responded, “Go back 2 blocks, turn right, and a couple of blocks down is a bar with 200 types of beer, go there”.

Naturally, I did…

There I met somebody, she invited me to go and live in Montana, USA. From there I met folks who helped deepen my meditation practice, and as a result, then found myself in Osho ashrams in India.

*Side note – Don’t let a Netflix documentary destroy the brilliance that was that Zen master. Besides, the whole concept of Zen is to be so confusing that the thinking mind cannot function.

Often I have thought back to that now faceless character on the streets in Belgium at the physical and hypothetical crossroad, who unknowingly directed me to journey over another 2 continents and indefinitely re-shape my character.

You might say, that is not connected. To which I respond, there is no way those events would have played out without that moment. Conversely, the moment wasn't the beginning or end of anything either, simply a paragraph in a story.

So what is the self-inquiry component here?

If there was an internal fear or uncertainty, I could have simply journeyed on my way, with an entirely different experience unfolding. I am not of course able to claim that this journey was the right, or better, of the directions to take at the crossroad. It was enjoyable in its unexpected nature of internal growth, however.

But there is a saying I like to mutter…

“You know how you know that the decision you’ve made is the right one?

..Because You’ve made it..”

There is no possibility of the alternate playing out. So onward with the dharma train you must move.

This is a long-winded way of saying that in each moment we all are being offered opportunities. Every time we answer, a door opens and another closes. We never know what room will open to us, for better or for worse. But all the rooms are connected and are of the same mansion of experience we live in.

Without self-inquiry, a tuning in to learn what is appropriate and what is depleting, it is much easier to make a wrong turn.

If the fuel is fear, worry, doubt, or some other unwanted emotion – don’t fret! It is still fuel.

Without suppressing, exploding, or shying away from, we observe these emotions that are simply signposts, and feel deeper into the belly or the heart and notice what the opportunity of experience is being offered here.

Fears of life that summon the bleakest days vanish as the moment is filled.

Filled with your intensity, deliberateness, and neurosis.